Mailman: *runs over squirrel and gets out of vehicle*
Me gardening at my cottage in my overalls and straw hat with long garden shears: How do you do? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket! *giggles*
Mailman: *picks up dead squirrel by head and makes its mouth is moving “So I found out one of my professors this semester is a huge American Horror Story fan. We both quote the show in class and everybody think we demented and they can’t handle all our sass. We always tell them “this isn’t your grandfathers horror show bitch!” (they say bitch a lot on show)
whatafuckinfamilypicture: All Nash Grier jokes are funny. He probably like doge meme and own fedora right? Pasty ass white demon? Look like boring animal doesn’t he? Hopefully Lupita Nyong’o win Oscar right?