Lets drag some more people who problematic! Any straight males we get to call out right? I bet Zayn Malik and Drake are rapists too! Both over 18 and I bet they have been attracted to a girl under the age of 18 and even if they didn’t act on it or say or do anything it is internalized and that makes them scum! Need Olivia Benson on the case! She got a kik? Zayn the bae though… and we want his cum right?
Me: “Used to be so ignorant and a shitty person in 2011, but now…*puts arm around one person and looks at them in the eyes* we all educated and self aware..*puts arm around another person on my other side and looks them in the eye and smiles* and we not shitty people. Now if you would excuse me my problematic ass got to go to the bathroom. *gets up and starts strutting towards bathroom where I see a little white toddler waiting outside bathroom while owner inside using bathroom, I grab him and show him to my Tumblr friends and say “hey look at this pasty white ass demon” and pull the mayonnaise out of my backpack and spread it all over their face. “Now eat a saltine” *Mom comes out and gets angry* Me: “Put your location on bitch I want to fight” *takes out chocolate spread grabs toddler and rubs it all over toddlers mouth and forces his mouth to my butt* “He eat ass!” *everybody at our Tumblr table laugh as angry mom grab toddler and leave*
I don’t think you guys realize how ahead of my time I am. Remember a month ago when everybody was reblogging those country redneck posts ironically I was doing that a year and a half ago. In a year and a half you will all be like me
Imagine you go to Subway and ask for a foot long peanut butter and jelly. They say they don’t make that! All of a sudden a man eating cuts his arm and start bleeding profusely and you point at the bloody arm and tell employee to use the blood as jelly!
I have never unfollowed anyone ever before even people that hate me and I don’t like what they post. Like the real world. Not all peaches and sunshine out there. Sometimes we run into a HItler bloggers or diaper bloggers. But we are also a generation that celebrates diversity
Stab a dead animal spread its blood and guts all over your face and start singing Summertime Sadness because you we all a little absurd like ET porn and Human Centipede cause our ass all truth tea. Faggot reclaimed slur by me now. We all reblog gopteens and watch Its Always Sunny cause satire we love. Our asses in the air 2 shits not given. Sex positiveness through the roof cause Kinsey reports and Sigmund Freud all teach us that children and animals are sexual beings. Depression and social anxiety the white people of mental illness. Don’t glorify it though even though we love Tina from Bobs Burgers. How many people on missing Malaysian flight POC? Sports! Sports! We all socially aware cause of our eyebrow game. Just ran into a movie theater and was like “automobile gangster” like Nicki Minaj we all so saucy tonight.
satire is “I’m going to take this concept to an extreme or absurd level in order to demonstrate how bizarre/nonsensical/illogical it is” and not “I said something bigoted but just kidding I didn’t really mean it hahaha”
I’m so glad Tumblr is finally educating people on what satire is and laying out the rules of satire