I’ve been working but don’t worry anytime any customer asks me anything I take the tips of my thumbs and index fingers and put them together and turn my hands upside down and put them up to my face like I’m wearing glasses and I say “let me live that fantasy”!
Imagine you going Christmas shopping and you are returning to your car but on your way you can’t help but see an old lady in a vehicle sitting in a way that makes her look like she is not breathing. You know on the window trying to get a response but nothing so you panic and break open the window with your arm and the glass falls all over the place making your arm bleed and the old lady bleed on her face. As the car alarm goes off the old lady opens her eyes even though she have one fake eye and looks you in the face and pets your head says “you have your mothers face”. Suddenly you wake up and you are at Kohls just standing there with your mom on her phone and she asks you how to put trigger warnings on her tweets. You look at her in the face and just take in the moment.
Guy #1 “Liberate my bussy!”
Guy #2:*puts hand on guy #1’s butthole and closes eyes and starts humming* “My religion is you!” *spanks ass*
Guy #1: “Do she got the booty?”
Guy #2: “Thinking of taking a feminist theory course this semester…”
George Zimmerman: “Surprise bitch! I bet you thought you saw the last of me!”
*Gets on train from Missouri to the Vatican*
*Sits next to older gentleman reading newspaper*
Me: I wonder if the Pope eats string cheese!
Me: We mustn’t argue it is nonsense!
Guy: Got a light?
*lights his cigarette then lights my own*
Me: We both old souls!
Guy: Cool as cucumbers?
Me: *smiles* Cool as cucumbers